A childhood friend of mine posted a picture of a giant slide in a mall with a ball pit at the bottom.  I would LOVE to go down that slide with her and relive our childhood – the one when our parents were best friends and we played and played for hours with the security that our parents loved us and would always be there for us.

Giant Slide
Source Unknown

My parents passed away a few years ago.

Most of the time, as an adult, I am okay without parents.  I’m never glad I don’t have living parents, but most of the time it’s okay.

But, sometimes being a mom without parents is the worst.  BAM doesn’t know my parents and never will on this side of Heaven.  I never got to tell my Mom I was pregnant and my Dad never saw BAM past the age of 4 months.  There’s a lot they and we are missing out on.  I am so sad that BAM will never be spoiled by them and they don’t get to witness his HUGE personality.  They loved their grandchildren most.

However, the saddest part to me is not having my Mommy and Daddy when I’m tired of adulting.  Does that sound bratty?  I really don’t mean it that way.  I have amazing people in my life who love me.  I have support.  BAM has a whole tribe of folks who truly adore him and love being part of the village it takes to raise a child.

But sometimes I just want the people who have known me since birth who always thought I was amazing no matter how lackluster (or worse) I was actually being.  I want someone to lovingly listen to me the way only a parent can.  I want to let myself relax into the little girl version of myself and melt into their couch while Daddy tries to fix something for me and Mom makes my favorite dinner.

Maybe that is bratty, but I’m okay with that.  We are allowed to be a little bratty with our parents and that’s kind of my point.  I’ve never felt as free to be myself as I did with my Mom and Dad.

I know not everyone has the same experience of childhood or relationship with their parents like I had.  To you, I am so sorry.  That isn’t fair.  Your parents should have done better and I pray you’ve got people in your life who nurture you and love you unconditionally.  I know that nobody can replace what your parent should have been.  I am truly grateful that I had such loving parents.  That is not lost on me.

To those of you who still have your parents while you are parenting your own children – enjoy them while you can.  If things are strained, work to repair it.  You never know when you’ll be wishing they were around!